i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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