so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
