i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
