Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm lost and stupid without you.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
