so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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