I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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