i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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