No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
