He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
