Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
