Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
His hands were made for my vagina.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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