i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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