I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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