happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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