I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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