ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
