I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
