It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
