True but thats because hes a fetus.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
