so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
