I wish you could order shots online.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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