I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
