just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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