The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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