I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
