Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
