I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
