The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
