So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
