There is no way he is gay with that hair.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
