That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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