no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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