i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
