Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
