i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
