Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
