We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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