Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
