You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
All I want is dick and wine.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
