just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well I just put wine in my tea
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
