Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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