nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize