Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize