operation have a gay friend backfired
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
