So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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