Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's never too late to be topless.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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