Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
