I just threw up on my dentist
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
