yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
