Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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