we're blogging at a bar
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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