New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
