I hate all girls vehemently.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
